The Shift: Parkinson's, Communication, Health & Living Well
A collection of practical insights, clinical expertise, and real-life perspective to help you communicate more confidently, navigate Parkinson's disease, support loved ones, and live with greater resilience.
Written by Jessica Ackerman, MS, CCC-SLP, RYT, Speech-Language Pathologist and Yoga Teacher, these articles explore Parkinson's communication, voice, swallowing, cognition, caregiving, health, mindset, and the everyday moments that shape quality of life.
Because how you think, communicate, and connect shapes how you live.
Learn. Grow. Stay connected. Live with greater clarity and confidence.
Dramaturgy.
In this year of much disruption, we may all be questioning our reality a bit. We go through our hours and days and years in our humanness, wanting to believe that our story is solid, but in reality, letting go of our narrative can lead to freedom from some suffocating constraints and self-imposed limitations.
Our assigned roles have become identities, and might just be out of date. Our costumes are like prom dresses from the 80's. Our sets are like paper mache that we slathered with smelly glue in second grade. Our lines have been practiced and reiterated since arguing over a new toy with our sister. Our stage lights are dim, in need of new bulbs to illuminate our inner vibrance that has been kept obscured by our typewriter-keyed scripts.
Anniversary.
365 days into this pandemic, and many additional pivots later, most just as abrupt and unannounced and unpredictable as this anniversary moment... the vastness of this full human experience is something too large to even reflect upon in words on this page.
Deeply feeling the persistent suffering in the world, I offer these thoughts, practices, and succinct directives as an invitation to turn toward healing and connection...
Judgment.
We judge. We label. We recount. We project. We catastrophize. We personalize. We distort.
Our labels and judgments are often turned on ourselves, and often turned on the situation in which we land, either judging it to be “my own fault” or judging a person or situation that has “wronged me”…
We can get so caught up, that we don't realize we are using this judgment as an escape from reality; as a means of coping to not truly feel; avoiding our inner pain by harsh critique and sabotage; reinforcing our “failings”; relying on old models of how things "should" be…
But we are not stuck in judgment.
Endurance.
But, habitual and automatic patterns might also have our mindset framed as, "I will be better when I'm on the other side of this."
We accept this state of mind, and we often use it to help us cope- with an overbearing project at work, with a tough run, with a too-long visit from in-laws...
Perhaps we do this even in full chapters of life- a job that isn't well suited, a disagreeable teenager, a home in need of repair...
Reverse Engineering Our Brain.
I can text the words, "I love you" from 1000 miles away, and can change your heart rate, breathing rhythm, pupil dilation, and metabolism.
Or you could me text something ambiguous like, "is your door locked?" and affect my nervous system in a negative way.
The language centers in our brains, responsible for processing incoming data in the form of symbols (words), are integrated into the same regions that are critical in autonomic nervous system control (respiration, cardiac, endocrine, immune systems). Our intertwined neurons make language a direct influencer on our body's reactions.
The Paradox of Perfection.
Illusion of perfect... If I do things perfectly, then I am in total control.
If I do things perfectly, then I cannot get hurt.
If I do things perfectly, then I will not have the rug pulled out from under me.
If I strive for perfection, then I don't actually have to act on important things because I have the safety net of, "if it can't look perfect, then I'm not playing".
Dukkah.
Suffering is a joyful part of the story.
Because this is where we feel each other.
This is where we find our brave.
This is were the fire burns and where we can come to know freedom.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but FEAR WALKING. Some of the most inspiring humans have spoken of suffering, annihilation, and the connection, courage, and compassion that is born of these moments...I do not think you can aptly speak of these things, without having been through them yourself.
Life’s Many Professions.
MM was young. He was a social worker, and he became acutely and gravely ill with a neurological disorder, landing him on a vent, without warning. His story is not completely unique, because, like so many of the patients I treated during my 12 years in this hospital, he was lying in an uncomfortable, partially reclined bed, without the ability to communicate. And like every patient I met, he had a story; and being in that bed would shape the rest of his story for the rest of his life.
Mom = Hero.
So, I’m just going to start with the surreal and shocking diagnosis that she received in September.
Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer.
My mom is stunning. She is healthy and strong, beautiful and vibrant, joyful and loving. A non-smoker who looks at least a decade younger than her age, she was on the golf course the day she found out that she had tumors throughout her body.
Team Sport.
…the pathway to healing also presumes the truth that we belong to each other.
Healing is not a personal endeavor. When there is suffering, and when we see this interconnection, we can meet another human in truth, even if it is scary.
We can be exposed in our fragility, and ask, will you still walk beside me....
The Simon & Garfunkel song, I am a Rock, could literally make me cry, in the first two notes….
Learning.
But the SURPRISE.
Ah, yes.
Then we learn.
Then we are catapulted into uncertainty and the learning that comes from navigating the uncharted territory; figuring out the path...
When things are going smoothly and we think life is unfolding as it "should", and then, wham... surprise... turns out...
Learning.
When things are in turmoil and some small decision lands you on an unexpected path to sweet bliss...
Learning.
When you thought what was, wasn't. Basically 2020...
Learning.
Octopus Teacher and Our Buried Stuff
What is it about the documentary, My Octopus Teacher, that has everyone so enthralled? The miraculous intelligence of this sea creature? The devotion of the diver? The unlikely bond between the two?
Going on Retreat.
What does this retreat look like, to our vibrating bundles of energy?
Stillness.
Stillness to acknowledge the pervasive, non-specific anxiety that plays like background music in a movie; which is actually subconsciously setting the tone of our emotions and becoming the lens by which we see life through. Allowing for a momentary pause in stillness can smooth out our mental chatter, just by noticing the inner dialogue that is determining the quality of our life.
My Backpack.
I have found, that as I write, I loosen my grip on the stuff that I carry. And as life unfolds and I am confronted with hard things, my backpack is filled only with things I choose. I realize that what I want to keep in my backpack is, in essence, Love.
The Force Is With Us.
No matter what comes together or is pulled apart, Love is here. In the greatest moments of success or the darkest hours of uncertainty, Love is here. In tragedy or triumph; harmony or frustration; inspiration or inconvenience, Love is here. Whether you feel alone or fiercely connected, Love is here. Despite any thoughts, regardless of any choice, and however you feel, Love is here. Through any pain or loss or joy, Love is here.
The Saturday After Thanksgiving.
I have learned that missing someone can be embraced. That the deeper the love, the deeper the loss. That there is no other side of grief. There is no pushing through; it is not something you finish.I have learned that grief is just Love with no place to go.I have learned that we are all just walking each other home. Hugging and holding. Choosing kindness and choosing light. Seeing joy and being love.
Brain Thoughts.
By nature, as protection, the brain latches onto its own internal model, which is actually largely flawed and operating from past stories, likely not updated from Windows 95 version. We are hijacked by our separated, primitive brain, and spiraled into unconscious programming as it starts running the show.
"Our perceptions condition our feelings; and most of our perceptions are wildly inaccurate." -Joseph Goldstein
Turns out, we can't think our way out of something, especially if we didn't think our way into it.
Reflection.
Maybe certainty should be a point of skepticism. Maybe a moment of not knowing can be the most beautiful moment, because really, we don't know anything, ever, at any time. Period. Maybe that is freeing.
Epic habits to make your routine flow.